I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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