so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
