Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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