Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
