my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
