Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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