I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
