so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
