the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
