I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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