tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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