drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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