i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
