The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
