Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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