our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
