Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Randomize
