Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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