Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
