He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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