It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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