I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I made him laugh his dick is mine
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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