hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
