Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
