we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
