Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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