I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
