i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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