man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize