I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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