Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
