Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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