i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
We got so high we made milksteak
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
