it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
