I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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