Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
this just has baby written all over it
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I will be naked everywhere
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
