me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
