These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
