I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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