Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
