...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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