Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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