Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
