I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
