and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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