my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
