Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Randomize
