I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
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