I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize