Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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