I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
