yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
