so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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