So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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