i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
