and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
When are your genitals available?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
A+ Viking dick
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
