I want to walk on stilts...naked
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
