I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize