So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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