I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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