Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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