oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
