You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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