i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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