so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize