my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
