We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
