I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
