Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
