haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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