I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
