Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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