We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize